This Girls Journey

anxiety

My baby's nursing causes me a LOT of anxiety. Is she getting enough? Do I have enough? Is she gaining enough? Should I wake her to eat? As I'm writing this, I'm debating on whether or not I should wake her up to eat. I generally do not like waking up sleeping babies. She will be 5 weeks old on Saturday, and I thought I would have had it all figured out by now, and would feel pretty good about nursing by now, but I don't.

One clue that she be good enough for me until our next Dr's appointment on whether or not she's eating enough are the amount of dirty diapers she has in a day. Nola has MANY dirty diapers a day. Which is kind of funny, because we had to stay in the hospital a few hours longer than I would have liked because they didn't think she was having enough wet diapers, and now her diaper is ALWAYS wet, and I'm always changing it. I thought diaper duty would bother me, but because of the hospital, and nursing ordeals I look forward to seeing a dirty diaper. It reassures me that my baby is getting something, and with the amount of poop and pee diapers she has in a day, my guess would be that she is getting a good amount of food (boobie milk) throughout the course of the day.

  

a month old

I can't believe that my baby girl is already a month old. A couple of weeks... sure. But an entire month has already come and gone. I feel like it was just yesterday that we were sitting in the hospital loosing sleep because we couldn't stop staring at her. Now an entire month has flown by with me loosing sleep because I can't stop staring at her. Before I know it she will be 5 then 18. Scary thoughts.

What have we been doing for the past month?
Nursing. Nola is the slowest eater in the human baby world. I'm convinced. I refuse to believe there is a baby that eats slower than her. It takes about an hour to feed her, and considering she's still an infant and is supposed to eat quite often, most of our days, and past 4 weeks have been spent attached to my boob.
Sleeping. She sleeps a lot, but not long enough to get much done. She falls asleep, and most times if you put her down she wakes and starts to cry. A sweet, I'm a sleepy baby cry. So I have purchased a sling that is now making my life easier. Whether she is awake or sleeping (not nursing. We haven't figured that out) I have full use of both of my hands, and she gets the mommy cuddle time that she craves. One thing I must say is that Nola is a fabulous night time sleeper. Most nights, she'll sleep for a solid 4 hours, wake up, nurse, and fall back asleep for another 2.
Pooping. I'm convinced that Nola has the best digestive tract of any baby. If she is not eating or sleeping, her diaper is being changed. I would say if she's not eating of sleeping, then she's pooping. But she tends to poop while she's doing both. Also, we decided a while ago to use cloth diapers, and so far so good. We are using Happy Heinys pocket diapers at night, and I use Indian Cotton prefold diapers with Thirsties diaper covers during the day. While we are out and about we will probably use disposable diapers. We are still tweaking our system.

new mommy confessions part I

I smell her breath when she's sleeping.
I love the sound of her cry.
I wake up many many many times every night just to make sure she's still there and it all hasn't been a dream.
I nibble on her hands, feet, and ears.

10 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days

The past 10 1/2 months have flown by. It seems like it was just yesterday when hubby and I checked into the hospital for our egg retrieval, and shortly after that our embryo transfer. Two embryo's were put into my uterus, and 1 survived, and the result is wonderful. Two weeks have flown by since Nola's arrival, and I hate to think of what the next 18 years have in store for me. They have been the most difficult, and yet the most rewarding and best two weeks of my life. I can't believe that I am a mother. I knew that I would love my baby, but I never realized that I would be totally and completely in love with him or her and I am.

From this:

To This:

It's amazing to me what a couple of cells from two different people can create. Life is truly a miracle. Last week Nola had her first photo shoot. We do not have all of the pics yet, but here is a sneak peak. Nola Pics

I may be completely biased, but I think she's gorgeous, and no longer looks like a funky cell hanging out in a petri dish.